Don't follow me cuz I don't know where I am going.....I fell down but I can't get back up.....

Happy new year!!! I set up this blog because I thought Andy and I could do it together. Well NOT!

You can lead a horse to water but what if he isn't thirsty?
I travel I quilt and I eat so that is enough.

Happy New Year

Love

Misstroye

Over the channel and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go

It has been a long time since |I have written anything but lots has happened.

Just before school broke up in Lagos a few of us got together for what I called a coffee morning with a difference. I said the ladies bring your cup and I will fill it up. We had coffee from Jamaica Port and Bailey's. I made beautiful cookies and cakes and we had fun.

The following week another lady had breakfast at her house and we had buck's fizz. On the last Friday before the holiday' I did a barbecue for all the people who are going to help with the walk we are doing in February at school. I felt a little overwhelmed as someone who was supposed to help me pulled out at the last minute. It went well though. I know how to light a fire and cook meat outside. I did it without he traditional mess that usually follows a Fennell BBQ. I have to say |I did a rather good job and the meat was cooked in my view to perfection.

I had about eight ladies show up and it was good. None of the men came but
I am hoping that that will not hinder the work ahead of us.

We my boys and I set off for London exhausted from all of the Pre Christmas activities. Not to mention the challenge I had with a company boss before I left. It is amazing how much things can take out of you and run you down. I have learned that I worry too much about certain things and not enough about others. I also learned that there is some good in saving old emails. Saving those emails saved the comm 1250 pounds. People will never know it or the amount of time I spent sorting that out but it is my job and so it is done.

Once we finally arrived in London after a marathon journey. We were descending into London when the pilot came on and told us we were being diverted to Shannon Ireland. That is where the real adventure began

Imagine about 70 angry Nigerians descending on a hotel in the sticks about 20 miles from any where?? I have to say the Irish were very hospitable and kind and patient.

Our first stop was a hotel we ended up at because the driver of our coach took a wrong turn. They had no idea we were coming but put up those of us that they could. The coach in the meantime left us stranded so those of us left behind had to make due. The hotel kindly gave us tea and biscuits and squash for those children who were not already sleeping on the various chairs and couches in the lobby. Some of us just retired to the bar. Kids asleep going no where so why not a Guinness. After all I was in the land of my children's grandfather so why not make it a good adventure.

At about 3 am the coaches returned to take us to our intended destination some 50 miles away in a place called Gort.

We arrived at about 0430 and finally got into our room after lugging our luggage (no wonder they call it that) I went straight to the front and said rather firmly CHILDREN FIRST!! I got a little stick from some other guests but I got the full attention of the receptionist and me and my friend got our kids to bed quite wearily by 0530.

We saw the news the next morning and saw how families were having to sleep on the floor at the airports. We were lucky we had warm beds and good food to eat all compliments of Virgin Atlantic. Their communication to us their customers was not good but if you are going to deal with an angry mob I guess it is better to do it the way they did. Anonymously through hotel staff. That way you control the flow of bad feeling and staff don't get worn down. Smart business move. That way if people do go to the trouble of complaining Virgin can handle you impersonally and tell you what they did never mind what they did not.

Any way we go here in the end and we had a great Christmas together....and that is what it is all about.

Pink-a-boo-baby

well you talk about going to the ends of the earth to get that perfect pink. Some of the fabric in this little ditty came all the way from Hong Kong via London to Lagos.

I have a great friend who now lives in Hong Kong with her family. She and her husband have been great supporters of my quilting adventures. He bought one of my favorite quilts ever and it was made up among other things of some old shirts that belonged to my sons. Not only did he buy that quilt he also donated shirts to the cause and I have made many a quilt using his shirts. Well it has been a long while since we have seen them in the flesh as we are now in Lagos and they are in Hong Kong.

one day as I was surfing around on facebook he popped up and told me he had some shirts for me as he had lost a whopping 40 pounds. Now some would have thought well done that is great but me being the fabriholic I am wrote back how can i get them?? Single minded or what.

Plan A was to recruit a young man who was travelling in Hong Kong visiting. His dad Albert was a frequent visitor of ours in Lagos so I did not hesitate to ask. I know they thought I was loopy. well as it happened he had done a bit of shopping (and who can blame it) and by the time I got my request to him he had little to no room left. I was mildly disappointed but that's because I was only thinking of me.

Not to be put off I thought about another way. I thought of sending money so they could post but then really I thought this is really extravagant for some old shirts really.

Another day not long from that one( about 2 months later) I was on facebook again and Matt pops up and says Hey Troye I am going to be in London which one of your kids can I get these shirts to? Talk about shooting stars and all sorts of happy exhilarations, I was going to be in London too in fact we landed on the same day. Though i was in London on pretty serious business this was a really bright spot i had to look forward to. we eventually met up, me Matt and Katherine and he handed over the precious cargo!! The back pack was nice and heavy!! I have to say it was really kind of him to bring it and I appreciate it from my heart.

We had a great pub supper and after it was all over he set off for Heathrow and me and Kath set off for Hillingdon. I had a smile on my face all the way home. I was encouraged to think that my friends went to the trouble they did to bring me some joy in the form of some old clothes that I could transform into something I think is really beautiful. It really does bring me joy and happiness that is hard to describe to make some beautiful things with my own hands to share with others. I got my cargo home and waited to open the bag until i#I had some good scissors to start dismantling those shirts. Boy howdy what beautiful shirts there were too! My favorite was a lovely pink one that made it into this baby quilt here.

A colleague of Andy's had a baby a few months ago and he was after me to make a quilt. I had done nothing about it until I got back from London last week. I picked the fabric once I had chosen the shirt I was going to use. It took me 24 hours to assemble and I enjoyed every minute.

I might get to meet the people who are the recipients but then again I might not. I am satisfied that I did a good job and happy to know that love and kind thoughts have made it possible.

Backfired

Well it has been a long time since I have written anything here. That is not to say much has not happened. I have been busy doing lots of things but maybe things not so important. I feel this heaviness of heart lately that does not seem to shift.

I finished a quilt recently that was commissioned by a friend. It was going great at least in my mind. I was in and out of the zone. I thought she no longer wanted it because she sent me a text to say she had used up her money to pay for those sort of things and that she would pay me in September after the Summer holidays; and so feeling a little deflated I put it in a chair for 5 weeks while I was in London for the graduation.

One day having read a chapter out of book on the great non art of procrastination I decided to invest some time in the quilt to get it closer to completion since not finishing things is one of my biggest character flaws.
I spent four hours on it one Sunday and I was amazed at how much I was able to achieve. All I need to do was make and attach the binding. Unfinished as it was I put it on my bed to admire it. I decided even if it was no longer required I would enjoy keeping it.

Then suddenly I got a call asking where the quilt was and when would it be ready as my friend was traveling and needed it as it was a gift for her husband. I was ecstatic. I thought it was an answer to prayer and a gift of repentance.

Things went all pear shaped when the exchange of quilt and money took place. Looking back I wish I had just handed the quilt over. It would have felt more rewarding to have given it as a gift. She handed me the money; it was about a third less than we agreed. I asked how much it was and she told me I said that is not what we agreed. She said the amount we agreed was too much. I repeated we agreed, she then told em I would have to wait a few month for it then. A few more words were exchanged but I walked a way feeling like a beggar. I went home and wrote her an email which i felt represented how I felt. I expressed my disapppointment and todl her how she made me feel like a tradeswoman who had to accept what she offerd as if i had no choice. I told her that her word must be her bond etc.... I was taken aback by her treatment of me and she was hurt by what I said to her.

She did give me the balance the next day but she also apologised and told me the things I said about her were not very nice. I am wondering if I had said them in a more loving way would they have been any nicer to hear. Or should I have just bourn the burden of how I felt and just left it as it was. Perhaps that is what Jesus would have done. When I think about it and I guess then I was quick in sending her my reply. He bore all sorts of injustice and waited for God to grant him justice, perhaps next time that is what I will do. I know I was hurt but I really am sad that she was hurt by my words... fair or unfair it bothers me.

(I know a woman who is a successful quilter; not just because she does excellent work but because as a former lawyer she knows the value of her time and she knows how to incorporate that into her quilts.)

I still feel tainted For a few days I did not want to even touch any fabric; but then I decided not to allow this difference of intentions take away one of my true joys and passions in life...my God given ability to be creative good things with my hands.

I also remembered very vividly a scripture that I had not given much weight to before. paraphrasing...the measure that I use will be used for/against me. So if I am going to hold such a standard for others then I have to measure up to the same way myself.

I had said in my heart I wanted to give the money I received from that quilt to a cause. I did indeed every singe dime. The only thing was my heart wasn't singing with joy. I gave it without even counting it did not even take it out of the envelope. I know it is true the Lord loves a cheerful giver. My heart is still heavy...but then you live, you love and you learn....

Bittersweet

Wow it has been a really long time since I have written anything. That doesn't mean nothing has happened. Lots has.

I am in London again this time for a joyous occasion. The lovely Katherine graduated with honors from Kings College and we came to party. We had a great day on Tuesday the 20TH of July and then again on July 24TH. The whole family was together but we forgot to take a picture. Andy was here for 10 days and we all had fun.

My parents in law have again shared their space with us and have been extremely tolerant and patience. 4 weeks is a long time and they have been happy to have us.

I thought about a lot of things today in fact this evening that made me think about writing: I read an article int he paper this morning about Nina Simone which lead to a google search which lead to some you tube videos of her performances. The woman was incredible. I did not know anything about her really. she gave an interview in 1985 telling why she left the country. She said they treated her bad. In the article I read how she described herself and how she felt about her self were commented on. She said she was everything white people hated about blacks. In particular i watched a video where she sang Feelings... she looked heavy medicated or high. her piano playing however was as though she did it by magic. it was passionate and unequivocally a gift from God. Her talent was not man or woman made it was spiritual.


I thought more to day about many woman who had hard lives or rather challenging lives growing up black in the United States. Billy Holliday, Martha Washington. Eartha Kitt. Bessie Smith Daisy Glen, Bertha Taylor to name but a few.

My daughter shared something with me that I had not really realized but up on reflection I can see how it happened. She said she was bullied because she was different. Mixed race is what she said. I thought to myself wow, she was a pretty child and people still found something to be mean about...I thought she would have it so much better than me. People no matter the generation can just be bad spirited

Abaddon in Paradise

Well I went to Badagry and got my sea shells and a lot more than what I bargained for. Initially I was not as emotional as I thought I would be. there was not much to see in my view but there was a whole lot to imagine. We were showed around these tiny little holding cells where people were crammed into for months at a time. The ceilings were of corrugated iron so essentially there were sweat boxes.

We then walked to the small boat where the captives crossed over to the small island called the point of no return where they would walk a mile or so to the sea where huge ships were waiting to take them on a journey to hell by fire. They first would stop at his evil little well of forgetfulness where they would be brainwashed into forgetting where they came from and agree by force that they were to accept that they would never return.

We walked the last stretch to the beach in relative silence. Listening to the thunder of the waves as the pounded against the beach is what brought it home; and it was there as I looked out to sea that the emotions just washed over me. Try as I might though there is no way I can even begin to understand the fear and lostness they were feeling or thinking so I won't even try. All I know is the scenery was the same today as it was then.... paradise. The blue green of the ocean its majesty and omnipotence, the valor of the sun's shine, the whisper of the breeze; In all of that glory of nature, all this power in all of this perfection, these people were marched mercilessly and without dignity into cramped conditions chained hand to foot. They were sent first up the coast to the next port where human cargo waited for their turn to board the ship bound for a destination unknown to them at the time, but for those who survived it was later revealed to be perdition. We were told that if 10,000 people made the crossing, between 2000-3000 would survive. The others, God rest their souls, ended up in the sea. I wonder if anyone really took the time to unchain them and if sometimes the living, the sick and the dead were all thrown in together.

Thoughts for another day. I have included a few pictures. Believe it or not on this day I forgot my camera at home and we used Betul's. What I saw though, whether physically or in my mind, will never be erased. It humbles me completely to think that someone like me walked where I walked, saw what I saw and heard what I heard. I however did not hear what they heard, see what they saw or feel what they felt. I am not sure what I should think but what I do think is that those who survived must have had some will to live and been strong in heart, mind and soul. The suffering did not stop with the crossing, that sadly was only the beginning....